She handed me some clipon earrings, fastened a necklace around my neck and told me to redo mylips. When I looked into the big mirror, it was as if she had created athird, entirely different person, all with the same body! Not the boy Ireally was, not the girl I had created on my own, but another girl, thegirl I had been looking for. I was speechless, just staring at myreflection.Mom left me standing there, walking out of the room without a word. Iknew the girls name of course, I had known it for years, and for thefirst time in a long time, I said it out loud. "Hello Emily," I said tomy reflection, smiling as I turned and looked at myself from every angle.At that point, there wasn't any way I was going to change, unless I hadto, so I walked out of the room and back into the family room where momwas. The only words that came out of my mouth were... "Thanks mom...thankyou so much!" I could feel the tears in my eyes forming even as I spoke,my lip quivering, but I stood there, overcome. "You remember when you left a few years back? You know, to visit the Confederacy?" Uh, yes, I remember," Alicia replied, hoping her darling daughter wasn't going to ask certain personal questions but pretty sure she was."You haven't talked about it," Jackie continued. "About your adventures, or what you did there." What's there to talk about? I learned what getting filthy dirty felt like," Alicia said, hoping that she could scare her daughter away from the subject. "I learned what it is to be owned, and to be shot at, how to steal and what it's like to be a fugitive. I learned how it feels to stand in front of a firing squad and get gunned down. I learned ... how it feels..." she took a deep breath, not knowing if her voice would give out or not."I learned what its like to be gang-raped," she continued, her voice slightly shaking. "And I know what it feels like to be imprisoned. So I don't talk much about my 'adventures' in the Deep South." Please forgive me, Mom," Jackie whispered..
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